Thursday, February 10, 2005

Having a Son

I don’t want those last remarks to be the last ones out there. I do like president Bush. We are alike in so many ways.

During the presidential race Bobbi, who was working for the Kerry campaign at the time and it was her job to monitor the Bush campaign’s internet activities, this was before she crashed the computers, Hahaha. Bobbi, I’m not saying it was your fault. Bobbi, it was Peter, who told me they couldn’t use the computers for four hours, because you were importing songs from the internet. What was that song again you imported, oh downloaded? That’s right “Heaven knows I’m miserable now” by The Smiths. Hahaha. Oh, Bobbi, Bobbi, Bobbi.

What was I talking about? Oh yes. Bobbi showed me a short video clip of Geoge Bush campaigning. The clip was on his website. I asked Bobbi to link to it, but it seems, GeorgeWBush dot com is now turned into a GOP website. Anyway, the video showed candid moments in the president’s campaign. The president’s daughters, Jenna and Barbara made comments about the clips.

One of the clips went something like this, Jenna says “Dad has a special relationship with Barney” the dog “He always says Barney is the only one, who wants to go fishing with him. Which is not true”. They show a clip of the president sitting next to a stoic looking Barbara in the back of a limousine. The president says to Barbara “I know mom (Laura Bush) doesn’t like me saying this, but Barney is like the son I never had”. Bobbi thought that was very funny and could be used in the campaign. Peter, he was her boss at the time said no.

I think about that clip a lot, about the president’s feelings. His words touched me. I too sometimes wish me and Hillary had more children. I love my daughter, that’s not what I’m talking about. But I do miss not having a son. Not having someone to continue the line. Maybe it’s the Irishman in me, I don’t know.

I was born on August 19 in 1946. I was Christened William Jefferson Blythe III after my real father William Jefferson Blythe Jr. Clinton is not my real name. It’s my stepfather’s name. After all the abuse I took from him, there were many times I thought about changing my name back to Blythe. I’m not a Clinton, I’m a Blythe.

It pains me sometimes to see all that I’ve achieved and know that it will all be known as Clinton and not Blythe. My father, my stepfather that is, does not deserve a presidential library in Little Rock called the Clinton Library, after the hell he put me and my mom through.

I thought about changing my name often after I left home and went to college. The problem is as time progressed all my certificates had Clinton on it and after graduation I immediately founds jobs in law and politics. It isn’t a wise decision to change your name in politics, not just because of the name recognition, but more because people tend not to trust people, who change their names. So I was stuck with Clinton.

Later after we had Chelsea and she was our only child, there was no reason to change my name. When Chelsea marries, she will take her husband’s name. So the Blythe name will disappear anyway. That pains me.

I understand George Bush, when he says he feels something is missing, because he doesn’t have a son to pass all his achievements on to. Many times, and this must be my Irish inclination for melancholy, often I feel the same way.