Monday, February 07, 2005

Football Super Bowl

The New England Patriots won the Super Bowl. I knew it. The Philadelphia Eagles are good, but just not really on the same level as the Patriots. It was quite a game. I was at the Alltel Stadium in Jacksonville, Florida. Former president Bush was there too. We were there to appeal to the American people to donate to the tsunami relief fund.

One third of American families have done so already. An incredible amount of people. What's more, half of them donated using the internet. I would like to thank everybody, who donated and I would like to ask everybody, who hasn't done so, to do it today. Your donation will do a lot of good. I will see to that in my role as UN special envoy.

I had a great time yesterday. To be honest I'm not a big NFL fan. I used to play football myself in high school. I was pretty good too. I was a really big kid. I was towering over everybody in my class and everybody was always teasing me about it.

I remember we had this very important game against a high school from Prescott, Arkansas. I had broken through their defenses and I was home free, except for one scrawny little kid. Instead of moving to the side, he tried to block me. With my size I knocked him over. He fell to the ground and screamed like a baby. I kept running, but I thought, with my size, maybe I broke his neck. I stopped and went back to him. I crouched down next to him. I said “Are you Ok?” The little weasel grabbed the ball, passed it on to his team mate and they scored a touch down.

We lost the game and instead of playing against other teams during the summer our team couldn’t do much else, but lick our wounds and practice for the next season. It wasn’t just my fault we lost. We lost really heavily. We just weren’t that good a team, you know? But this didn’t keep the team, the high school and the whole town from blaming me for the loss.

So every time we had to practice, and one of my team mates fell down, he would say “Oooh help, call sister Bill”. In high school they were calling me “nurse Clinton”. It’s no fun if a whole town hates your guts and you’re just twelve years old. It was then that it became clear to me that I had to get out of Hope.

Well anyway, I stopped going to practice and not long after that I quit the team. The result of this decision was my heart by-pass operation a few months ago. If I had kept up my condition as it was when I was in the team, I would’ve been healthy right now.

This is the reason I get mad at parents, who don’t force their kids to participate in sport. They say “Well, little Timmy doesn’t like to sweat”. Well maybe little Timmy likes a heart attack when he’s in his late fifties and spend the rest of his life scared to death not surviving another one.

It’s important for kids to exercise. It will strengthen their lungs, it will grow their heart and it will keep them healthy. If you don’t work out as a kid, you will never be able to do so as an adult. I tried, oh so many times to get back into shape, but it was impossible. If you don’t build it up from childhood, forget it. So my arteries clogged up and I almost died.

All because of a jerk from Prescott, Arkansas. Aaron Johnson, is his name. I bet he still lives there. The little town hero. I still have a score to settle with you, Aaron.